Go to jail already Lindsay Lohan, and take Paris Hilton

[rjman_afan]

Posted by April MacIntyre Jul 20, 2010, 17:00 GMT

Uncle. There are over 2000 news stories alone about Lindsay Lohan, the actress who thumbed her "F-U" manicure at the world when sentenced to 90 days (she will only do around 23) for breaking the terms of her probation.

Add this little screed to the dog pile. Lohan needs to man up, shut up and take a break from Twittering to go do the time. She needs to read Kurt Sutter's open letter and she REALLY needs to have a DinaMichael-ectomy and divorce her parents.

And keep better company, and maybe learn from Scarlett Johansson, who does great work then goes home and has a normal life out of the paps view with her man. Or a host of other talented actors who don't have radaronline programmed on their speed dial, or alert X17 when they go for dinner at Madeo's.

Learn from Paris Hilton, Lindsay. Poor Paris is reduced to creating much ado about nothing (phoney pot busts, plants and underwhelming topless pictures) just to get a headline these days. It's sad to see the once queen of the Google index reduced to such desperate measures. Paris's one-time sidekick who trotted around in her shadow, Kim Kardashian, is the white hot "it" girl everyone wants at their opening, party or club. How the DListed worm turns. Even Khloe snagged a tall, dark and handsome gazillionaire.

Then there is Robert Shapiro, who now is reported to no longer be Lohan's lawyer. Shapiro reportedly resigned from Lohan’s case Monday, forcing her old attorney Shawn Chapman Holley to stand in and represent Lindsay. But there are reports that Shapiro never really was her attorney, just a consultant trying to get her sober before her time was served.

Lohan is currently being ferried to jail on live Los Angeles news coverage as a motorcade train of reporters follows, reminiscent of Paris Hilton's grand parade when she was taken to the same facility.

The real injustice will be if she is in just long enough (due to massive overcrowding) to crave a good party to erase the smells and the memory.

She needs a Merle Haggard experience.

Country legend Haggard was in San Quentin by the time he was 19, doing HARD time with the big boys, and after a stint in solitary, and seeing Johnny Cash perform at the prison, Hag's eyes were opened and the experience set him straight.

The prison time gave Merle that wake-up call, and we reaped the benefits by enjoying his legacy of music still to this day.

If Lindsay is half the good actor many critics say, she could learn a thing or two meditating behind bars for a while.